So I haven't been around much but I have been in a tumultuous relationship, now that its over instead of relief I still feel the pain of an emtpy presence, empty bed, empty heart.
Maybe I was in love with being in love, I was too prideful to deal with the bad days, the faults, the coldness in him sometimes, it was easier to run, to ignore the cracks, to smile to cover my feelings. Eventually those cracks grew into an abyss and we were standing on either side, watching as it grew bigger and slowly my footing slipped. We fell into the blackness....
I was the bigger person, who was brave enough to bring up the end. He could'nt hurt me, but by doing that he caused more damage than he could possibly have known. I could see his pain too, he was devastated....But the last thing I want is pity.
I hate that I still have to see him everyday, what hurts more than anything is that we pretend not to see each other. At one time, we were the person who knew each other the best, we were everything to each other
.
Sometimes a whispered I love u, a gentle caress, a look means more than anything.
I'm at a loss, I've had a great loss. But I know that I deserve better, and I will get better.
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